“Salad Bar of Doom”

by SJ Tucker

chords: Em*= harmonics on 12th fret

3/4 times, ie, an ominous waltz to the salad bar. 

 

1 Be-(Em)ware the Bleu Cheese of (Am)Redmond
and the (B7)honey-mustard of (Em)gloom
Be (Em)careful how you stick (Am)your fork into
the (B7)Notorious (F#)Salad of (Em)Doom  


2 An (Em)army of croutons comes (Am)crunching
while (B7)sinister spinach doth (Em)creep
in-(Em)vading the heart of your (Am)luncheon
and (B7)stirring your (F#)belly from (Em)sleep

3 (Em)Tempting and colorful (Am)veggies
seek (B7)only to draw you (Em)in
and (Em)learning your fate, you'll (Am)find it's too late
as (B7)dressing (F#)drips from your (Em)chin!

CH:   (Am)Iceberg (Em)lettuce (Em*)
          will (Am)come to (B7)chill your (Em)soul
          don't (Am)say we didn't (Em*)warn you
 
          as you (Am)blindly fill up your (B7)bowl!
          Oh, (Am)heads of lettuce will (B7)roll!  Ho!

4 (Em)Dress it in flowers and clover,
but (B7)it consumes you (Em)still!
In (Em)leather and lace,
past the (Am)bounds of good taste,
this (B7)salad is (F#)dressed to (Em)kill!

5 The (Em)popping of cherry to-(Am)matoes
re-(B7)sounds throughout the (Em)land!
(Em)Innocence lost when the (Am)salad was tossed,
but (B7)Dave was just (F#)feeding the (Em)band!! 

 

CH:   (Am)Iceberg (Em)lettuce (Em*)
          will (Am)come to (B7)chill your (Em)soul
          don't (Am)say we didn't (Em*)warn you
          as you (Am)blindly fill up your (B7)bowl!
          Oh, (Am)heads of lettuce will (B7)roll!


6 Oh, (Em)Health nuts, seek other nu-(Am)trition!
(B7)Vegans, best run from the (Em)room!
Be (Em)careful how you stick (Am)your fork into
the (B7)Notorious (F#)Salad of (Em)Doom

7 (Em)Woe to the grazers of (Am)green things,
whose (B7)stomachs will growl all too (Em)soon!
We'll (Em)lose all we love in the (Am)tastiness of
The (B7)Notorious (F#)Salad of (Em)Doom